Resah gelisah

 

Yes, anak sorang ni yg sangat bertuah. Kasi mak bapak dia resah over the weekend. Last Friday after his final HMT - higher mother tongue (hhmt lain eh) class, he came out macam takde pape. He’s received his overall Malay marks and he told me his was kinda average. Terus kerut kening ku yang tak seberapa ni. All the way home la jendul pun da berkerut. He must have failed his P1, P3 and P4 terribly to get such overall marks cos he’s done pretty well for his written P2. 

Quickly message Cikgu and asked for his breakdown of marks. It was already late Friday noon ye. Of cos she didn’t reply. Thankfully she gotten back to me on Monday morning. And he got reprimanded by her la for hearing the wrong marks. Bagus. 

But part tahniah tu, tiba je emo eh. I don’t deserved the credits because the boy is like a little bro I never had. Everyday like anjing and kucing. And the reason Cikgu haha was that I replied I’ll ask the grandma to korek the telinga so that he could hear better and that we’re afraid he might have used Boyan for his oral. 

Alhamdulillah for his best behaviour in school although I did rcv call from his DM before but that’s another story to tell. Haha. 

Finally today after jap eh, 10 days ke?!?! Wah lao. Been that long already? 😭 I see you see me. Hmm betul nye puasa. Kalo bayar balik puasa da clear hutang seh. 

U’ll nvr ever know how much I have to resist the urge of msging you cos I know my place.  🤍

Syukur

 

It was a strange kind of weather this morning. Was bright real early but rained. Then we saw the Roselle’s flower in full bloom for the first time ever. So pretty 🤩 

So glad I took a pic cos by the time I returned from bf, the petals had dropped. And Alhamdulillah. Finally all his marks are in. Proud of his efforts and also so lucky for me when the husb took over Sci and Maths. 

Had a funny chat with Cikgu too cos I’m sure she understood where I was coming from. Cikgu betulnye puji dia melambung-lambung eh. 

Gut feelings. Don’t you underestimate a woman’s instinct and gut feelings ye. When you think we know nuts but actually the truth’s so obvious but we rather play dumb. 

Everything is temporary. Even you. And me. 💘 

Faham

 

Faham sangat².

Read in between the lines semua sudah but I’d gladly accept your sorry.

I’ll disappear silently soon and return your peace.

Apa ni? 3+am but I just replied an email about a milk tea order that I screwed up on. So it’s true that I cannot order anything cos there’s always something that could go wrong with every order I made. 

This tote bag’s another case of what’s meant to be yours will eventually be yours no matter how long it takes. Sounds scary eh. We actually went to queue for it when it first was released but all 3 of us didn’t manage to get cos of some hiccups. Then the jiran recently got hers via a promo and I got mine by successfully making 6 referrals. They did not only have to download the app but also need to make their first purchase. Imagine the support I received. Means alot to me. 🥹

Sun-tastic

 

Pretty sunset from the yard. 🥹

Alhamdulillah. Marks are in for his first ever exams. 

I can’t believe I could smell the Nov rain already. 

Seems to have alot coming but nothing’s planned yet. 

Just thinking how I’m gonna survive at home with him for 1.5 months.  Stress gyler can? Eh. 

Wheelie perfect

Alamak this woman ar. We met just recently for a brief NSG bf then had to meet her up just before the sch hols to celebrate her day in advance. And planned for a cycling sesh to Coney Island. Our very first time. Last min plans always a blast! Can’t deny it was chilly in there although we were so giggly and all. 

Bumped into a Mat or two but we couldn’t wait to get out of there already. Cycled to the nearest lrt station then grabbed our brunch. I’m so blessed with friends who’ve been there for me for years and years. 

And I really appreciate the times they sacrificed for our meets up. ❤️

Night changes

  “We're only getting older, baby
And I've been thinking about it lately
Does it ever drive you crazy
Just how fast the night changes?”

~ One direction

Bro suggested to cycle, at the very last minute. 

In fact was only confirmed last night.

Spent 2 hours cycling which brought back memories when me and sis were really young. We would randomly go to ecp to cycle all the way to Bedok Jetty or even further to almost the country club. And I also remembered dragging the then bf to cycle too. Under the hot sun. Such luxury to do now because of life’s commitments. 

We then headed to T2 for taiwanese lunch and dropped by Tamp to pack dinner. Haiz precious activities. Took your mind off the exam stress, the other non-essential sadness. 

Really cannot wait for Wed to come and end so that we could all take a breather. And then think of the next action

Legs sore and ultra tired yet cannot sleep. Urgh

Oh no

Just let me be….

Core memories

 

I rarely posted faces in my entries but this deserved a space. She was part of my core memories when I was going through a rough patch in life and witnessed me getting back up again. We went to toilet breaks together. And we never had a proper meet-up till today since 2010 despite having random Raya meets up near mom’s place every year. Meeting her just reminded me of how every single one of us are facing our own kind of battles. 

These lyrics so apt with the cloudy sky. And so true to my feelings right now. How the truth hurts and moving on is a pain in the ass. Some unsaid words are so obvious cos you heard them loud and clear. I’ve never been this way in a really long time, more than a decade, and it’s not even helping with me being an overthinker. Guess you’re gonna be part of my core memories too. ❤️‍🩹

White flag 🏳️

 

Finally caved in today. Left the boy home alone for about an hour or so to see the doctor. What luck I got to meet the founder of the clinic and the assistants were friendly this morning too! Doc did not hesitate to give me antibiotics cos he said been a week. That yellow pills are yellowing.😔

So it’s really been a wk huh? And despite me being sick, I could feel your coldness today. Faham. Totally get it. Probably the best gift now and for as long as I remember is to doa for you. I’ll retreat okay. 

Lately, there’s just too many random stuff that happened. Like the acik swee heng called me Hajjah, the KFC aunties happily reminded me of the same offer next week, a random mummy asking for help to buckle her baby carrier on her back, that pakcik clearing my almost empty bowl of mee soto and reminding me of how much MSG  was in there. And today, the assistant asked me if nak bayar pakai nets tak which i replied tak nak and she giggled away. And at the supermarket a korean guy I assumed wanted to share my basket cos he was holding too many Kimchi noodles but he said he wanted to give one to the boy. And then I randomly saw a video of how you cannot be EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED to things or people in this world. 

Cannot wait for next week to end pls.

Hujan

 

“Malam, kau bawalah rinduku

Untuk dirinya yang jauh dariku

Agar dia tidak kesepian

Selalu rasa ada cinta agung

Hujan, bawa air mataku

Yang mengalir, membasuh lukaku

Agar dia tahu ku terseksa

Tanpa cinta dia di hatiku”

 ~ ombak rindu

Peace… but probably not

 

I just want to hide under my soft thin blanket and forget the world. It has been really overwhelming this past week. With meets up, surprises and entah apa lagi akan pop up next. 

Been sleeping in the next room cos of my bad sore throat that made me lose my voice. It was hard as I had alot to talk about as usual (eh!) and syukur now that the voice is slowly returning. Haiz i think it’s just my social battery running real low and I need to hibernate for a bit. I’m still in the midst of braining the information overload for this week. The more I know, the more questions I have. Then suddenly feel stuck pulak. 

I really need to stay low for these two weeks but the prob is boleh ke? Nak tak nak kena paksa kan?

13 years later

My Tiffany ring from the ex bf cos he passed his repeated Heat Transfer. He actually went to get it cleaned but can’t fit my cute fingers anymore.

Here’s the pic of me back then. Ultra filtered pics.

Memories 

Hard to say

 

 

No, you don’t have to be my #1 anymore. 

I would understand. 

Freeflow tears

 I couldn’t believe that i have these much tears. Buruk tau.

Yesterday, right after I dropped the bomb, I called the bestie and broke down. Kesian member cuak terus. 

I cried sampai toes cramp. Dunno why supposed to feel relieved yet I felt numb. Woke up by bff’s msg at 3ish and cldn’t return to slp. Had to start the day after that. 

Mata koyak. Info overload too last night. Haiz mcm mana la tak emo eh. Eh apakah dia masih la tak tau blog aku?

Had a great time today with the NTU bestie. Been so long since we last lepak and she dragged me to have nsg. 

Laughed so loud as loud as those annoying fighter jets. 

Cool decor with straight to the heart quote eh. 

Bahasa betul. 

See lah. Every single time kasi macam2. Besok nak try that sunblock. Mana tau jadi putih skit or belapok eh. Haha. Oh then happy that the bff from mekkah sent video la pics la and msges. And today I called her mom!

Pastu i cried while talking to her. Slamat la suara tgh serak so the cries wasn’t obvious. 

And about that, hmmm. Is it i knew too many things already? Okla besok da tak kacau. Back to ….

Apa ni????

My reaction. Exactly. Dahla tak reply my last msg, tiba-tiba after what 1 mth eh? Sesuka hati muncul? Emo? I’ve been emo since my poly days eh. That’s 24 years ago.

So scary la. I just said I got questions with no ans, then today got 2 questions answered. Woah. 

Can I say I’ve got a bit more qns now then besok2 akan terjawab juga? Tak tau la nak ketawa ke nangis with this situation(ship). EH

Then now, left me h a n g i n g again.

Bagus la. 

Think Pink

 

Woah! Is this my 1st ever pink phone? Not that it matters much cos usually I’ll case it with Kate Spade covers. But this time, cannot resist and we had to wait for 2 hours before we managed to grab it. The pink is pinking! No? So instead of the usual KS I chose a simple transparent case but a bling lens protector. 🩷

… and I wonder

 

Cute nasi lemak from masjid ❤️

So weekends buat apa? Busy dgn family ke tu? Then got missed my stories or not? When Monday comes, tengok je la as normal. Is that our only connection now? Like you know what I’m up to and you just online gitu by 6pm offline? Nvr take leave ar? Just like that da 1 mth passed eh? Cepat. Macam mana nak stop now? I’m giving myself excuses cos the bff has no socials and she sees my updates there too. But I cannot stop having so many questions. With no answers. Apa lah yang aku bebel ni?

Happiness is

Having all your best friends at the same place! I’m so happy today! The husb took half day so that he could fetch the son from school! And I could send the BFF to her Umrah trip! The bestie teman me all the way from 7am. Then the other BFF took half day too! And my ex FS colleague (from more than 20 years ago! And we last met in 2020) took time off and surprised us there too! All 3 were busy msging me for more info eh. As if I’m the one flying. Tsk. Such a happy day! Alhamdulillah. 

A lil something for the bff’s twinnie.