Still

 

“I should be over all the butterflies
But I'm into you 
And baby even on our worst nights
I'm into you 

Let 'em wonder how we got this far
'Cause I don't really need to wonder at all
After all this time I'm still into you”

~ Paramore

22

It’s been twenty-two

My gut’s feelings so true

Should have not said it all

And let it naturally fall

Tried to walk away

Please God, don’t make me go astray

Kept reminding self not to trust

But my heart’s now all burst

Let’s go back to December

Back to those days that I don’t remember

Anything or everything about you

Let this chapter just falls through

Fullerton Bay, the 3rd

 “Siapa belakang awak?”

I asked in my sleep clearly. So the husb woke up and solat at 3ish. Haha.

He usually solat at 5 and I rarely ngigau especially at hotels. But I remembered that I dreamt about the ex. After so so long. A dream yg tak masuk akal eh.

 Jalan cerita nye. 

Suggested to the husb to book Fullerton Bay for our anniversary this year. It’s always kinda last minute la. Still no chance to stay at Raffles. Wanted to for 10th anni but husb brought us to Umrah instead. 🤍

This was our 3rd stay at Fullerton cos we love the service and we’re boring like that. We would return and repeat the hotels that we really liked. 

One of the rare days that the hall has no event and so able to snap the grand chandelier. 

Amazed at the huge curtain at bf area. So majestic so melayu ready for Raya. 

Loves the xmas vibes but I bet if we were to stay in Dec it’d be even more merrier.

The view of the huge xmas tree across our room. 

Loves this shot with the bumboat in frame. 

Aha I interned at the bumboat company back in poly. 

We were greeted by this pretty mini mousse cake. 

Just nice for the three of us.

And how do you convince the husb to book Fullerton Bay? By telling him that the package included their Xmas bear. Last time they didn’t have stocks yet and they replaced with their usual spa bear instead.

Grateful that we started our staycay series this time with perfect weather that allowed us to enjoy the pool fully.

Full of Gratitude

 Alhamdulillah. BFF has returned home and recovering from her surgery. Grateful that everything fell into place such as the sis was still on leave and could look after the boy while I lari sejap to visit her at the hospital.

I was expecting to cry my eyes out when I get to see her but it was so comical that the visiting became light- hearted instead. Bought sunflower and passed through the gantry smoothly. Searched for her ward and bed was a breeze and I walked into the room strutting with the sunflower in hand and just before reaching the last bed of the room I heard someone called out ‘MARY!’ 😂

Can’t believe I’ve actually bypassed her bed. 

Luckily for me I haven’t got the chance to selak or peep at that last bed. Sampai the husb said I so confidently walked into the ward. Tsk. 

Anyways, she was looking a little weaker than usual and she vomitted her hot chocolate. Her husb tried to finish the drink for her but he tersedak badly and said smelled like her vomit. Eh eh I really got no chance to cry. Proud of her for pulling through this. She’s really one of my truest friends whom I appreciate and love more than she’ll ever know. Haiz. Nak cry now. 😭

Oh on Monday we went to pick the sis up. And got home late. But was fun and the husb had a mtg till almost 9pm at home though. Eh not bad ar I even managed to cook laksa for our lunch and dinner that day. 

Wed finally met the bf bestie for our 1st hol outing. Got to have my fave banana choc cake from Secret Recipe and that’s probably the only decent and yummy food from there. Thur went out early morning to stalk cousin at his workplace and pass him his gift. Thankful for this one cos he’s been showering us with tonnes of goodies every single time. Haiz, so much love and so much to be thankful for. Not gonna let you simply steal my smile or heart away. Hmph

Fri came and I paid my 2nd day hutang puasa. 5 more to go! Help can?? 😩 

I’m such a flower girl and these were gifts.

See that money bouquet? Was for my 40th from my jiran. I think there’s a total of 30 bucks. That Lotso at the corner was from another jiran who shared the same bday as the money bouquet giver. Haha. Sunflower was from sis for Mother’s day. Yes besides being the sis I’m also her mom cos I cooked and did her laundry at times. Nagged too. The middle crochet bouquet from the husb for mother’s day this year. And those crybaby stalks! My fave eh. 

It’s been

 17 days. 

Stupid mistake. 

Gone

Too early or too much

Just gone, too soon.

It is what it is. 

Cluttered

 Why la my mind so restless today? Msg the BFF early morning to send prayers her way.

Still worrying for her at this hour although I know she’s really really strong physically and mentally. Alaaaaaaaa kan da start emo lagi. Cannot wait to see her and to know she’s alright. 😭

Then for the first time ever. Takde eh. Pergi umrah ke? MC? Or cuti? Did you majok? Or did you finally baca my writings? Alaaaaaaaaaaa.

Special appearance of the husb. I really like this emo shot by Mom. Can you see her tebal finger in the frame? And me looking slender next to the husb. Heh. 

11th

 Alhamdulillah. We turned 11 today.

Got quite a bit of FB reminders and this one made me emo. Taken by my childhood guy friend who has passed on in 2020 abruptly. 🥺 I’m glad we took pic and thankful that the husb includes him every Thursday when we recite Al-Fatihah. Writing this down already made me teary. 

“Wedding Dais of my childhood friend,schoolmate & neighbour.

Congratulation...may your marriage last till Jannah..

In Shaa Allah...

Amin Ya'Rabbal'al'amin..”

In his exact words. 😭

I believe he’s in a better place. 

Here’s what the husb wrote on his gift card to me.

My one and only Hermès.

Mom and Dad slept over and plan was to go bf date with the husb. Mom wanted to tag along but she wanted to see laut. Punya la semangat tho her leg pain. So walked we did. But we took bus back to have bf. 

This was funny. Wanted to get his anni gift. Tried at Taka but the one he wanted was unavailable. Went to Adidas outlet also don’t have. Called another MST outlet and has stocks! Thought I called Suntec but City Square eh. Out of all places on a Sunday! Took bus and mrt over and he managed to get 2 Ts. At a disct. 

Alhamdulillah. Ada Hikmah. And this lovely unexpected  customised dessert from Beyond Pancake was our dinner. ❤️

The pretty sunset greeted us on the way home. Felt so Masha Allah to be staying near this beautiful view of both the reservoir and sea. Alhamdulillah.

So grateful and thankful. 

I’ll be

Staring at the moon a little longer tonight. 

 

The moon’s looking so perfect.

Captured this using the husb’s hp sampai peluh and cramp eh. But worth it. I’ll tell the moon I’ve missed you.

When the roses kembang and blooming pretty. 😍 

I know they won’t last but I appreciate and treasure the gorgeousness and fragrance. Very therapeutic can? And I like running my fingers on them smooth petals too. 🩷

Alhamdulillah bro’s lunch treat at Daun Upeh all the way at Tamp. Those siput, yums ye. 

Everything’s made to be broken

 Just like that he’s done with P4. 

Where did the time go? 

On the other hand I couldn’t wait for him to outgrow my height. And today was the last day before they embarked on new class, new friends and semoga baik-baik saje. Bonds made over the two years only to be broken for the new academic year. Such is life. Nothing is permanent. Today you could be having #1 fans then tomorrow, none. Eh. Tersasar lak. 🤭

Can find us in the pic above? 

For now, we have seriously rejected his HMT offer.

Felt guilty at times if we’re hindering him from achieving his best potential but hopefully it’s for the better. 

Insha Allah. 

15

 

I know the husb would always gets me flowers in advance but he got it delivered tonight. Unexpectedly. 

And it happens to be the day he asked me to be his gf. 

Back in 2009. He picked up the pieces and made me whole again. 🥹 And I deliberately deleted his folder of the flowers he ordered for me, he ordered the same bouquet from 2 years ago. 😂

Amin. 

How apt that there are 3 hearts in these jelly. ❤️

The most valuable $2

So on her actual birthday, she dragged me to cycle.

It’s $2 worth of quality time from Gardens by the Bay to National Stadium. 

So worth it!

Spot our reflection!

Cool huh. We were pushing our bicycles across the bridge.

Loves this shot by her. I looked so slim.

Perfect 90 degree right angle (see my knee there!).

This Mexican brunch was super impromptu.

Plan was to eat at Kallang Wave Mall but still closed. Took train to Bishan but detoured to Orchard instead.

Managed to try this newly halal place.

Satisfied my cravings seh.

This was complimentary! 

Tacos was super yummy! Juicy tender and fresh vegs!

Dumdums birthday

His gift.

Her gift.

Bday girl requested for bowling session pulak instead of the usual staycays. So she dragged the whole 3 gen family to Safra for a 2 hour session. 

You bet la everyone of us now nursing aches here and there even the youngest member. 

 

Cute much? This was right after we’re done. 

We completed almost 3.5 rounds of game. Then we headed downstairs for dinner.

The OG of Kunafe. Tak sweet langsung and the melting cheese inside. Yums!

Falafels looking good and tasted yums too!

Her birthday cake in her fave colours. Haha.

His birthday tart tasting so light. 

Bebual world

 

Walked home earliest today and had the lemon meringue bought by the husb. Masam sampai terus awake despite the cold nov early morning rain. So pretty eh. 

Met the poly best friend today before the sch hols. Haiz we’ve been through so much and still going through life together. May all be well and sempat la she kept scolding nagging at me and trying to knock some real sense into me. Urgh. When I was storytelling to her, I myself cannot believe what I’ve just told her. Hahahahaha. Some things just don’t make sense. Or it’s all the better that I don’t even understand any part of it at all. How is it I cannot wait to see her again? Haha.

Today

Probably the best moon shot I took. 🤍

 

Today was calm. I’ve got 15mins before making the daily video call with mom. For the first time in so so so long I walked home after sending him. Had the cheapest bf. Worked on the wkend project successfully I hope before falling asleep on the sofa. At 9ish in the morning no less. 

Cooked lunch had lunch then was zoning out when it’s already time to meet the fave jiran cos always got tea and always tea tak abis2. Haha. But today.

Today was 🤍.

Cold November Rain

Trying to update the blog in my collagen mask and wondering if it will ever turn transparent cos it’s slimy and fragile and I cannot guarantee if it will still be in 2 pieces (or many many pieces) tomorrow morning. Feeling the cold november rain and wind. November’s the month of birthdays and celebrations. 

And what you mean it’s been a year since Umrah? 😭

Remember the screwed up milk tea order? So glad and thankful that the staff actually gave us the missing drinks today. Of course only after I showed him the email exchange and he asked no further questions. I didn’t get his name but I hope good things will come his way. And happy that I got to grab the tote and blue blue pin too. 💙

Brought the boy to show him the arcade game I used to play back in secondary school. Like more than 2 decades ago? And after playing it again, realised it’s really basic unlike now with all the motion while racing. 

Haiz memories.